Public Restrooms = Public Embarrassment

Having an only child limits my frame of reference concerning children's fascination with public restrooms. I don't know if all children love them but Miss G is enamoured with them. We know every restroom backward and forward within a 30 mile radius. Miss G even remembers the stalls that were out of toilet paper and goes straight to another one. I know that all mothers go through the "please-don't-yell-out-in-public-that-you-have-to-go-poo-poo" phase. It is a challenge to be sure. Miss G has thrown this mother a couple of extra challenges.

Miss G, as some of you know, is social. So social in fact that if one of the stall doors is closed in the restroom she asks me who is in there. Since of course I don't know, she kindly starts talking and waving to them through the little cracks between the door and the wall. Of course she needs to do this to amend for the scare that she has just given them. The first thing Miss G likes to do when she enters a public restroom is to yell "Ah" as loud as she can. She likes the echo. I'm all for science experiments except when they scare the literal poop out of some one. The poor unexpecting ladies who were quietly and calmly taking care of business are now startlingly aware that a new, unexpected element has just entered the restroom. Most women don't socialize in the restroom much less try out the acoustics but most women haven't meet Miss G......yet.

The other challenge I'm afraid is self inflicted. When my darling was first learning to poop in the big potty she asked me to sing to her. Thinking I was a clever Mommy I created a song for her using the melody from an old Vacation Bible School song. Many of you might know it...

Booster, booster, be a booster.
Don't be grouchy like a rooster.
Booster, booster, be a booster
And boost our Bible school.

Well...the homemade version goes like this...

Pooper, pooper, be a pooper.
Push it out just like a trooper.
Pooper, pooper, be a pooper
And push your poop away.

I must say the song works. It works so well that now Mommy gets to sing it all the time, even in public restrooms.

So... let's review. We've scared the patrons, taken a life history of the patrons and now we're going to sing to the patrons. Still hoping that we can salvage a little dignity, I start out really soft; just a whisper. "MOMMY, sing the pooper song louder!" The red in my checks turns from embarrassment to courage and I think...YES! Why not? What have we got to lose now anyway? The patrons only came in for a little relief. Why not give them some comic relief too?